Infamous Nintendo Famicom Beat Takeshi's Challenge Translated, But It Still Makes Very Little Sense

Takeshi's Challenge (aka Takeshi no Chōsenjō) is a Japanese exclusive action-adventure game for the Nintendo Famicom featuring Takeshi Kitano (Beat Takeshi) of Takeshi's Castle fame, which is often referred to as the worst game in existence. Following a recent fan translation, this cult b-movie equivalent can now be witnessed in all its glory.

Around 25 years and one month ago, Christmas time potentially held a forgettable moment for Japanese children who were unfortunate enough to stumble upon Takeshi's Challenge within their Santa sacks. Despite warnings on the packaging suggesting this game should not be played using conventional gaming skills, the questionable hit somehow managed to shift a similar amount of copies to that of Dragon Quest.

According to Wikipedia's article on the title, Takeshi's Challenge was originally intended to be the video game of Takeshi's Castle shortly before Kitano himself intervened with a selection of game ideas beyond the Famicom's scope. So what did the Kitano and the developers Taito eventually agree on? Let's allow a quote from Wikipedia to explain:

Kitano incorporated many of his unique and controversial ideas into the game. For instance, the player can beat up a yakuza gangster at a pachinko gambling establishment, and take the yakuza's money to exchange for prizes. The player can use a hang-glider to fly over into a strange land called the "Red Country" (an amalgam between the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany). The player can gain access to the Red Country if they pass over the four other islands, but a huge mountain blocks the way into the country, and the player will be forced to crash into either the mountain or the ground, resulting in an automatic game over screen. There is also a choice on the password-entry screen ("Punch the old man") which also results in an automatic game over, even when the player has not even started the game. Other in-game events include: a game over screen where the player's character is given a funeral, singing karaoke at a pub (using the second-controller's built-in microphone), the main character divorcing his wife and paying a settlement, beating up yakuza, or seeing inhumane comments on store signs.The game's plot, where a despondent salaryman seeks to find a hidden treasure on an island, is introduced as having been created by Kitano while he was drunk at a bar[1]; however, Kitano himself explains that the plot was solely the result of an hour-long talk at a cafe near his production company.[3]

With such a selection of surreal in-game plots, surely this game is worth exploring!? Well thanks to a recent fan translation patch for Takeshi's Challenge, you'll be able to find out yourself why Famitsu magazine once placed this game in the top ranking spot of their kuso-gē chart. Failing that you could at least take a look at Retro Game Master's (Game Center CX) Shinya Arino tackle the game in an amusing manner.